Ruminating Again...Countdown to Retirement

Ok, its been like six weeks but  I'm still not actually unemployed or retired. I'm in the middle, sort of. On vacation. Still. But it is now coming to an end and on or near Valentine's Day, I will receive my last paycheck from the city and begin receiving retirement benefits a month later. I have done many things and none of them well over these weeks and I have come to some conclusions and have set some goals. Mostly I watched a LOT of Netflix, YouTube videos, got together with friends I hadn't seen in a while and left the state. Twice.

I need something to do with my time. Something that is fun, is creative and brings me joy.
I don't want to "serve others" in the way I have been professionally doing for my entire life.
I want to be closer to nature. To live in it. Simply.
I don't want unnecessary stress in my life==even thinking about it makes my blood pressure rise up.
I like being entertained; mostly I like to learn from podcasts, TED talks, YouTube videos about Rving and living a minimalist lifestyle.

There is a lot going on. Lots of it is free or comes at a low cost. Lots of events and rallies and community stuff. All I have to do is look at FB, the papers, stay in contact w/ close friends who enjoy getting out and doing stuff.

I want to get back into MOTH story telling. 
I have some great, encouraging friends.
My boyfriend is supportive, as are my friends and family.
I am hopeful that Spring comes early.
I need someone to help me start boxing back up my life and getting rid of stuff to lighten my load. It's all just STUFF.
I don't want to replace new stuff with old stuff. But I do want to get camp gear and travel safely and efficiently for awhile.


I sold my house and got rid of 80% of my stuff. 
It is time to get rid of 10% more.

I have lived on the Long Trail. I have been my own boss, my own friend and my own enemy since I left my parents' house at 17. I can live with very little stuff, I can not live without people who I care about and who care about me.

At the end of my life I want to actually have lived the life I imagined when I was 14 and reading Walden Pond essays.
So far? So good.

All I ever wanted was to live a simple life. One with just books, a bed, a chair, a table, candlelight, an outdoor fire pit. Oddly, the way to have that in my near future was to have a 3 bedroom, 2 bath house and SELL it. Strange how that went. 

Life goes on. And the beauty is all around me. New England weather is rough. Just really ever-changing and never perfect. Ok, there are those 6 or 7 days (never in a row) where we do stand outside in the breeze of a Spring of Fall day and say, "Yes, this is why we live here." Winters are long and Summer heat, bugs, moths, bats are even longer. The humidity is always at 80% or higher in July and August. Sometimes September, as well. You have to love it here to live here. For me, it's the people. The mountains. The rivers and streams. Ponds. The lakes. And if that isn't enough, I can always jump in my car and head out for awhile. 

I'm not sure why I love it here, if I am being absolutely honest but it has always seemed like home to me. Especially my childhood home, which may or may not seem obvious. I know many people who dread going "home." I also know people who are at home anywhere, due to travel or the fact that they can "bloom where they're planted." As long as they have clothes on their backs and a song in their hearts...

We will see...

Ruminating about Retirement--Seeking a New Purpose

DAY ONE OF RETIREMENT


December 12, 2018

IT has been not even an entire DAY of retirement and although I planned and promised myself that I wouldn't DO anything, I did make a list of things that would make me feel better and did exactly thirteen of them before 3:15 PM.

It's after 4 now and although blogging is NOT on my list, here I go.

I had lost my laptop in the move a few months ago after having sold my three bedroom one bath and now live in a one bedroom one bath apartment. The view here is spectacular--one cannot hope for a better view of the mountains and rolling hills...

End of day note: Today was DAY ONE, well, still is. And it wasn't bad at all. People warned me about what to do and not to do:

• make sure you get up when you normally do
• sleep in
• take it easy the first few days
• get into a routine
• treat it like any Saturday
• don't get into a rut
• RELAX
• dance
• enjoy your freedom
• whatever you do? Do NOT drive into the city! (that piece of advice? I took)

My boyfriend told me not to make any lists, since we live and die by them and they drive him nuts. So what did I do? I made a list. Did almost all of the things on it, but they were all good things, like dealing with the mountain of recycling in my kitchen and taking a long walk in the sunshine. And breathing. And stretching. Things I forget to do on a daily basis and those things have made me into one of the youngest retirees around. I'm just barely 60 and according to absolutely everyone I know I am either "too young to retire" or they are jealous or envious (a nicer word for jealous) and regret some of the choices they made or they, too, would be retiring now.

So, I did some things and talked w/ three people on the phone. I made my bed. Washed my face. Ate a healthy breakfast. Found my laptop. Lots of first-day-of-retirement things.

And now I'm sitting  here....
______________________________________________________
OK that was literally over a month ago, and now that I have had 40 days of actual retirement, I can tell you what it is like.

B O R I N G, at least now that the holidays are over and everyone -except me- is back at work.

What I did over the past month of "vacation"--because I still am on vacation.

• um... nothing much from 12/12/18 until 12/17/18
• Went to Boston, then Virginia over Christmas and New Years
• Came home to VT and started researching RV living, tents, yurts, etc.
• Watched a lot of Netflix, Hulu and Amazon Prime Video movies
• REwatched the movie Julie and Julia a number of times, to get an idea of how a running blog would actually work
• Downloaded Tasty app and made a few vegetarian meals I had previously never made (the stuffed portabella mushroom recipe is divine, by the way)

Now we are at the near-end of vacation and I have set myself an appointment to go and see Tricia, our town community coordinator, to see what kind of heck I can get into with her. She's a fun, smart and very talented artist and has great ideas when it comes to how to get the citizens here to "mingle and mix and be"- as Tom Hanks says in some movie or other.

January 22, 2019

Today is Day One after the big storm that not only dumped FEET of snow on the entire Eastern America, it brought with it sub-zero temps and kind of made a lot of people miserable in the process, mostly those of us who had visions of snowshoeing and cross country skiing last weekend with our partners.

So Dr Martin Luther King, Jr has had another birthday and folks are back at work. Well, everyone except us retirees (or pensioners, as I like to call us). It's a strange time of year to retire and I won't go into details as to when I chose December to do it, but I did. So here I am...

Well, I did actually take a few walks here and there over the past month and had a very nice time snowshoeing across the Stowe Quiet Path (other than the moment a strange dog tried to come face to face with me whilst feeling me up!)

I've been outside, I've met with friends I never see anymore except at grocery stores and gas stations (two Melissas and Minghui) tidied up, done some laundry, shopping, etc. I haven't stared at any walls, or had more than one crying jig. So that's good.

The other night I was in tears and my "man friend" was here. I told him I feel lost and don't feel as if I have a purpose. After all, I'm an American, dammit. I have worked since I was a toddler, bringing in the wood, putting away clothes, helping with laundry, sweeping the floor. I graduated to babysitting at about age 12 and really, since then have never even taken more than a few weeks off. Ever. Even though I was was a teacher and worked in schools for 19 years, all told. I had plenty of summers where I could have taken literally two months off per year. You know, had I been able to afford it!

You ask why I didn't? Yes, money was one reason. Now that I am at this point and age in my life I can say that TWO WEEKS' VACATION IS ABOUT ALL I CAN TAKE!

Well, I've learned another thing about myself, like it or not. I don't do well without a list or a reason to go onto the next thing. So here comes the list. Shield your eyes, folks, this ain't gonna be pretty. But if you do enjoy figuring out what to do with your life, follow me in my journey and you will at least learn how I did it.

I will start off with a list of positives. I will list what I enjoy doing.

I enjoy:

1. being outside
2. writing
3. taking nature photos
4. being around smart people
5. helping out by physically doing stuff that isn't back breaking
6. being creative and having beauty around me
7. producing things like plays 
8. planning things like activities and events where people can learn and enjoy 
9. palm reading, painting, teaching about safety and how to do things
10. giving credit where credit is due, encouraging coworkers and teammates to do their best
11. having enough time to take breaths and small breaks, enjoy nature, take a walk, etc.
12. working for the greater good

I do not enjoy:

1) being on a team that does not appreciate, listen to or respect me

2) sitting in an office--or office settings, in general

3) working every single day, 40 hours a week and commuting over 10 hours a week

4)  other folks taking credit for ideas and successes that are not their own

5) stress in the workplace (or anywhere else)

6) being distrusted or disliked in the workplace, and distrusting and disliking others

7) people who can't let bygones go; people who hold grudges and retaliate tit for tat

--generally speaking stress, distrust and bad feelings in the workplace.  I could have just said that, but chose to make a list because I know what I do NOT WANT and will not put up with those things ever again. God willing.

Ideally I would be able to work three days a week Tues, Wed, Thurs and do that to be around people, make a little money and have a reason to get up and out of the house. I do not think the work has to be meaningful the way my work has been (working with migrant folks, homeless people, seniors...) but it has to serve a purpose.

One of my all-time favorite jobs was doing dishes at what was called Mt Mansfield Company. I did that after quitting my first teaching job. I romanticize it in my mind when really it was after a big boyfriend breakup (ok, I was dumped) and a summer living with my brother with nothing to do except sleep and eat. Bad times call for action, so I got a job as a dishwasher with low stress and specific hours and obvious duties and it was exactly what I needed at  time. And because I had quit a private school job, I started the dishwashing job in May and didn't stop that until I got another teaching job in October of that year. Five months and it was great! Hey, maybe my next job with me as a dish washer. Its a resort town. Who knows?

So with that written, I will now go on to do what I will today in this frigid deadly yet extremely beautiful day. Thanks for reading this.

I will try to write again tomorrow...