Long Island Psychic

 I used to stay up late, way past my bedtime, watching movies or some VPT documentary or some political satire...you know, whatever was on even if it was boring and I had no interest whatever in the subject matter.

One fine winter afternoon when I should have been skiing or snowshoeing I came across a cable show--I think on TLC (THE  Learning Channel) and I don't remember the name of it but I will call it "Long Island Psychic" because that is/was what it is/was about. It is about a woman who lives in Jersey or Long Island and runs around telling people who do not want to know things, THINGS about their loved ones "in heaven" or who "have passed."

Bee hive hair do, long painted nails, year-round tan, lots of eye make up, smartly and colorfully dressed--total opposite of me, which makes me wonder why I was and continue to be totally taken in by that reality show! Simply mesmerized. And come to think of it? Her husband is the total opposite of her, too.

Her husband is a carpenter, who wears Carhartt pants and sleeveless T's, sports a handlebar mustache (or is it mutton chops?) rides a Harley and is a "man's man" through and through. They constantly fight on air. And her kids are teens and are therefore mortified by her in public situations. The whole lot of them will go to a deli or out to dinner or even out to the movies and UT OH there she'll be...walking up to complete strangers. Telling them that someone named "Michael" wants to say he's sorry. Or that "Grandma" is safe now in Heaven...and the person will either freak out and stare at her, sometimes calling the manager to kick her out of the establishment, or they will start crying and hug the woman. Total stranger. Hugging another total stranger. Only on Long Island, right?

Of course, she travels around with at least one camera person, probably more...so when any self-respecting deli worker, concierge or hostess sees this gal and her entourage coming? They do the deer in headlights thing FIRST, then they do the crying/throwing her out on her ass thing NEXT.

The kids will slink away, turn to their iphones...roll their eyes. The husband and teens never seem to just let her do what she wants, either. They either warn her, "No, honey. NOT NOW!" the husband will holler, slamming out of the place and hopping on his Harley Davidson. Or one of the kids will say, "Oh, no. Mom, NO! You are NOT going to do this now. You said it was FAMILY TIME!"

But this woman? This particular psychic? Can not help herself. She is compelled to utter the words, "OK, you don't know me, and this is gonna sound a little weird, but..." and she is forever touching them on their forearms or upper chest and--what is more? Getting AWAY with it!

Opposites do attract and one day I hope to meet this New Jersey or Long Island psychic. I just think if she can take all that abuse from her husband and kids and keep on believin'? She's someone to appreciate.

Note: the show is actually called Long Island Medium, Theresa Caputo is the gal